I once fell asleep on the couch with the tv on.  I woke up in the middle of the night to this (click through to 7:45 to see what I woke up to):

Yeah, you don't want to wake up to that at 2 in the morning.



Something is different... can't quite put my finger on it...

Since I started this blog, I have completely redone the lay out 3 times and fiddled with it multiple other times.  The first try was a hideous purple monstrosity.  I'm a fan of the color and I was going through a phase that should be reserved for 12 year old girls.  After a few weeks, I realized how ugly the colors and layout were so I changed to an orangey doodle background with white foreground.  It was an improvement, but in my way of thinking if it's not monochromatic, it must have like 15 different colors in it.  So the background was orange, the title was purple, the titles were some other color--it was just too much.  I liked it at first, just like I thought 4 shades of purple hit the spot because I have no taste.  After a while I realized I was actually embarrassed by the way the blog looked so I changed it again.  The color scheme has been simplified.  I also added "read more" links (or "jumps" in blog lingo) on the longer posts so you don't have to scroll-scroll-scroll to get to previous posts (I hate that, so why would I do that to anyone who might stumble across my blatherings?) I figured out how to add a background picture to my title (seriously folks, any monkey can create a blog; deftly using Microsoft Paint to create your very own stolen off the internet picture requires genius), and I think it's the best way to describe what I'm trying to do here.

Yes, after typing that last sentence I spent 10 minutes googling pictures of monkeys on computers.

Speaking of what I'm trying to do,  most blogs I have stumbled across have a theme.  All I can say is my theme is randomness.  So there.  Don't expect too much from me, all 1 of my readers who may or may not be my mom.

True Blood IV: You actually made me miss Mary Ann from year 2.

I couldn't come up with a blog post that would properly describe this season of True Blood.  If you watched it you know what I'm talking about.  If you don't watch the show, but are interested in starting, please for the love of all that is sacred and holy DO NOT start with Season 4.

I tried to make this interesting and I don't think I succeeded, just because of sheer volume of stuff thrown at us this year.

As long as we can pretend the Palins don't exist

In the waiting area of the place my son gets tutoring from, they have some educational toys to entertain the kids while they wait for their turn.  One of the toys is a map of the United States that has little pictures on each state that you can scroll through by turning a knob on the map.  As you turn the knob the pictures go from state capitals, to famous landmarks, to famous natural formations.  It also shows famous people for each state: Kentucky has Daniel Boone, Mississippi has Elvis, Hawaii shows Kamehameha.  Alaska's famous person: Typical Eskimo.


Not a typical Eskimo

The writing on the pictures is so small that I thought maybe it was the name of some famous Alaskan that just looked like Typical Eskimo, but no. No, no...sadly no.

That's Not How You Make Chilli!

I live in Kentucky, just outside of Fort Knox.  I am not from Kentucky.  I am always quick to point that out.  I usually claim Michigan as my home state, but that is not necessarily true, as I was a military brat and moved around a bit.  But Michigan is where I spent the longest amount of time during my formative years, and I would rather be there than here, but that's another story.

There are many things that are unique to Kentucky, just like any other state, but one of the many things that really gets my goat is the way they make chilli around here.  You know, chilli, made with tomatoes, hamburger, onions, peppers, spices, however you imagine chilli to be.  Like this:

Mmmmmm

But, in Kentucky they put noodles in their chilli.  I've seen it with spaghetti and with macaroni.



What the...?




I refuse to eat it on principle.

I seem to be the only person bothered by this.  Every Kentucky native I've met claims it's the best and only way to make chilli.  Chilli without noodles is like spicy tomato soup to them.  Just like how they pronounce "idea" as "ideal" and continue to vote for Mitch McConnell, it's just something I'll never get about this place.

True Blood Season 4 Premiere

So I'm sure we've all had a chance to see the first episode of Season 4.  It's nice when a show just starts off running  I'm not going to do a recap of every episode. I have too many other things to do, and whatever, I don't really feel like it right now.  But don't stop visiting, I'll find something else to entertain you with.  I'll probably do another Swiss Cheese Recap at the end of the season.  In the meantime, I'd like to point you to the True Blood recaps over at io9 , which are way better than what I can do.

True Blood Season 3: In which there is way too much going on

Ok folks.  Just stick with me through this one, and it will be over before you know it.

True Blood Season 2: Electric Boogaloo

Warning:  Spoiler Alert for anyone who reads this but hasn't seen the show.  Don't bitch to me if I ruin the ending for you.  I TOLD YOU.

The last we saw of Bon Tempes, the town was reeling from the discovery that an innocuous side character was a serial killer.  Beel and Sookeh were still making googly eyes at each other; Tara was drunk driving and nearly ran over a naked lady with a pig on a leash; Jason was racked with guilt about killing Poor Eddie the vampire, and the murder of V addicted girlfriend by his best friend; Sam was sad because he was the only shifter in town; and Lafayette was abducted by vampires in retaliation for selling V.  Which brings us to this Awesomeness:

3 seasons of True Blood

It took a lot of thought to come up with my first full length post.  True Blood is back on Sunday, so I decided to do a recap of the first three seasons.  Without actually re-watching any of them.  True Blood is my favorite summer show, and I have no illusions about the series.  I know it isn't quality television; I know it is absolute trash, but what beautiful, sinful, decadent trash.  So here follows my synopsis of True Blood to date.  Memory lapses are mine, plot holes are all courtesy of Alan Ball.

 Warning: If you are the type of person who gets upset about spoilers, do not read any further.  I will spoil the hell out of each season.  You have been warned.

What am I doing here?

There is a blog I visit quite often.  I don't follow blogs, I visit them.  Although I guess if you visit a blog on a regular basis that is considered following.  But I digress.  The blog is called http://www.11points.com/.  It consists of Top 11 lists as opposed to Top 10 lists because "Top Ten lists are for cowards".  He has a lot of funny stuff there, and you may learn some interesting and useless facts while you're being entertained. 

His most recent list is 11 Secrets of Creating a Successful Blog (Almost All of Which I Did Wrong).  It's a list of useful tips in creating and maintaining a blog.  Obviously I don't have any followers at this point because I have not advertised this blog to anyone at all.  I know, what's the point of having a blog and not telling anyone about it.  Well, I am following point number number 5.  I got that idea all on my own, but when I saw it on 11 Points I felt justified.  Point number 1 may or not be a problem. I started this on a whim. I have no theme. 

Many blogs are nothing more than exercises in narcissism. I hope I don't go that route.  But what then is a blog about me just saying random crap?

Whatever this turns out to be, I figured I should set some goals for myself.  I hope to be able to shoot for one "real" post a week.  By real I mean something that requires thought and research.  There may be additional short thought of the moment posts.

I also need to figure out how the Blogger format works.  I have the basics, but I want to be able to post pictures and links without jacking up the whole post.  I'll figure it out.

BTW, if anyone is watching, you should really check out 11 Points.  The guy has his own take on things and doesn't disappoint on the lists.

Dear Dude/Dudette

in the blue Focus,

Your bumper sticker that read "I would tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and I don't want to see you every day" put you in a rare category.  The "I don't feel like following you to your destination, waiting for you to leave your car unattended, and then vandalizing it because I don't agree with your views, because I'm that kind of person" category.

The beginning.

This is my first, and perhaps only, post.