Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Imagination

So here's something that started out strong and petered out real quick.  There's no point to it.  I just needed to have something to go with Imagination.
I made this ALL BY MYSELF.

Imagine a world where people run around in tastefully placed fig leaves, riding unicorns, and drinking honeywine out of goblets made of rainbows created by the Keebler Elves.

In this land maidens with long hair keep dragons as pets and valiant knights have to pretend they're not allergic to dragon dander when they go to the maiden's magic apartment.  "Oh, you have a dragon?  I 'love' dragons.  Look, he's rubbing his green scales all over my black slacks.  Isn't that nice?"

Here you can always tell who the  bad guys are because they always wear black, have greasy black hair, and long mustaches that they twirl evilly around thin fingers as they knock lollipops out of the hands of small children.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Haiku

he stalks on soft paws
tail twitching waiting to bring
death to feather mouse


sunshine on the grass
and summer breezes carry
the scent of water


cold snow drops into
my collar from a branch above
hidden in the night

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Game of Thrones

STEVE HOLT!
I am  a regular viewer of Game of Thrones.  I am also reading the books.  I got halfway through A Feast For Crows before I broke my Kindle in a tragic knee meets screen accident.  So until I get a new Kindle, or just break down and buy it in paperback, the reading is on hold.  I figure it will be a couple of years until we get to that book anyway (fingers crossed for 3rd and 4th seasons), so I can slow down.

Anyway, Game of Thrones is pretty popular show, so of course the internet has put it's own spin on things.  My favorite site happens to be Arrested Westeros which does a mashup of screencaps from Game of Thrones and quotes from Arrested Development.  If you've never seen either show, a lot of it will make no sense to you.  If you are like me and watch Arrested Development on Netflix, A LOT, it's Huh-Larious.


Lucille: You’re my third least favorite child.Michael: I can live with that.
My Mother, The Car - 1x08

…and we’re back!

Michael: You burn down the storage unit? T-Bone: Oh, most definitely.
Top Banana - 1x02

And just for the heck of it, some Joffrey slapping:

Good Lord, I hate Joffrey.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Flash Fiction Friday

Ok, I'm doing something a little different today.  No comedy, just my first Flash Fiction.


The old woman lowered the bucket into the well and brought it back up with the winch. Her back made a painful protest as she lifted and poured the water, which emitted a faint sulpherous smell, into a yellowing plastic jug. She thought of all those warnings they used to give about reusing plastic containers; how the plastic supposedly leached toxins into the liquids and foods that they contained. If only those concerned officials had known what was coming, they wouldn't have worried about a few cancer causing molecules in a water bottle.

Grunting she hauled the water back to the hut she had erected near the well when she found it 20 years ago. It was nothing more than rusted metal, plastic sheeting, and bits of wood hodgepodged together to provide shelter. Inside, by the dim light of an oil lamp, she poured some water into a pot on the wood stove used for cooking and heat. On a flat slab of wood balanced on two old wire spools she chopped anemic looking carrots and a slightly moldy potato. She wished she still had a bit of meat left over from a deer carcass she had scavenged several days ago. The thing had had a fifth leg hanging from its belly, but appeared to have died of natural causes. It had still been in one piece, more or less, and she had hurridly hacked off a chunk of flesh and shuffled home as coyotes yipped and barked in the dusk. She didn't want to be out after dark. There were worse things than coyotes in the dark.

The carrots and potato went into the pot. She sat back at the table and stared at the gnarled hands resting on the surface, the right one still gripping the knife she used for everything. Her knuckles were knobby. It was becoming harder for her to fully extend her fingers. Dark blue veins bulged and slithered under cinamon-colored skin when she tried to make a fist. When had she gotten so old?

Memories welled up: working at a bookstore, nights drinking and talking with friends. Earlier memories: catching frogs, eagerly waving her hand in the air in class, the scruff of her father's 3 day old beard; all before The Fire had turned the world inside out. There were others: flames, ash, years when the sun remained hidden by dust. There was a man with wavy brown hair, gentle and doomed; childeren laughing, running, hugging her legs, then coughing blood, large dark eyes staring sightlessly from pale, hollow faces. She closed her eyes and saw another man with white hair and black eyes, and her stomach tightened with a cold rage that had never left her, even after so many years.

She could feel the night closing in on her little home, opening like a void in the world.  Tonight there were no coyotes yipping, and that was a bad sign. It meant that the shades were moving across the land. The old women opened her eyes, leaving her memories and prepared for the night.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Easter Horrors

So Easter is on Sunday, and instead of reflecting on the sacrifice Christ made for me and His eventual Glory and Resurrection, I would like to focus on this:


First thought: Pure Nightmare Fuel.

I have watched this four times and each time I'm more and more disturbed by it.  The bunnies are screaming silently as they slowly melt away.  Just look at their faces and try not to see the horror in their beady little candy eyes, and imagine the terror they feel as they realize there's no escape from  total obliteration.
So yeah... Happy Easter.